Forgiveness

Surrendered?

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I attended a church service in June or July of 1996 and I was never the same afterward. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t know my “Re-Birthday”, but I think it was July and it was definitely ’96. I was changed. That was nearly 18 years ago and I think that those who knew me in college and high school would say there’s been a change. I would have been voted “Most Likely to Waste Their Life” because I was getting wasted all the time. It’s an apt description… what a waste! I nearly did waste my life; that is, until 1996.

Thereafter, I hungered for the things of God. I devoured the Bible in six months. I knew what I was supposed to do. I had the knowledge. But the obedience didn’t follow. I fell into sin, and as is the unfortunate case with most Christian failings, the perpetrator is ostracized or shunned. Those that knew about my sin tried to get me to turn away but after a couple of tries, they would have nothing to do with me.

Normally sin will keep you from the desire to seek the things of God, but not so with me. I still hungered and at the same time, was tormented by what Christians would call the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

I discovered grace (again) in February of 1997 when I first attended a new church, Community Fellowship Church of the Nazarene. It felt like a safe place from the very beginning. I had lunch at Captain D’s Restaurant with its pastor, Jeff Griffith, and he showed me the true meaning of love, forgiveness, grace, and restoration. Through his leadership, I found that, incredibly, God could use my failings and brokeness to bring encouragement, healing, and victory to others. And God did, amazingly. I still shake my head in amazement.

I attended that church for 16 years, and being the Type-A personality that I am, served as hard as I could. Looking back, maybe it was God’s burning desire rekindled in me or maybe it was an effort to repay God for His forgiveness and restoration. Maybe it was both. I was constantly trying to do more, learn more, study more, work more, and even surrender more.

My wife and I sadly left that church last August. It was the hardest decision of my Christian life. Looking back after seven months, I’m glad we left. I miss the people terribly, but without leaving, I would have never discovered the liberation I now have after finding another facet of God’s grace.

Every Sunday, Christians hear a message of forgiveness and surrender. They are encouraged to surrender or to surrender more, and some pulpits will even declare a message of trying harder. I can’t remember a message of trying harder, although I know that it’s preached. I’ve preached it. I’ve taught it. “Read more.” “Pray more.” “Serve more,” is the mantra.

As I’ve struggled in my journey of faith, I’ve always thought my problem was that I hadn’t surrendered fully. There must be areas of my life that I haven’t fully turned over to God. I haven’t fully yielded to the leading of the Holy Spirit. That must be the problem, I thought. That’s what I’ve been taught and that’s what’s been preached (at least that’s what I thought I heard).

That may be true, but to a Type-A personality and perfectionist like me, surrender then becomes an obsession, and actually becomes – in some crazy way – a work. It becomes something I must do in order to become more like Christ. Maybe that sounds crazy to you. Maybe it sounds strangely familiar.

For me, liberating victory has (again) come through the Gospel. Yes, the Gospel. The Good News.

Knowing that Jesus paid the price for my sins is one thing (and yes, the MAIN THING), but there’s more to it than just that (although that’s great news by itself).

It’s also knowing that…

… because Jesus won, I’m free to lose.
… because Jesus was strong, I’m free to be weak.
… because Jesus was someone, I’m free to be no one.
… because Jesus was the ultimate leader, I’m free and content to be a follower.
… because Jesus was (is) extraordinary, I’m free and content to be ordinary.
… because Jesus succeeded, I am free to fail.
… because “It is finished”, the work is done.

There is such freedom in those words, but there’s more.

I’ve said it before but I have to say it again and again because it is such Good News: There’s nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I can do to make God love me less. There is nothing I can do to repay God. There is nothing I can do to curry God’s favor, including surrendering more.*

Surrendering more is something that occurs naturally by getting the statements above the 18 inches from my head down into my heart. Surrendering more is something I don’t have to do; it just happens. As I discover the full revelation of God’s love and grace, it fills me more and more with the things of God. He’s all I think about or want to think about. I see the futility of living any other way and see more and more my need for Him everyday… mostly to save me from ME. It’s still a constant battle, but one that Jesus has already won for me.

I’m not sure if any of this resonates with you, but it is life-changing with me. Isn’t God’s grace truly amazing!?!

 

* to read a better description of this liberation, read any of Tullian Tchividjian’s books, such as One Way Love or Jesus + Nothing = Everything

I thank God for his fresh teaching on the subject.

Embarrassments

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I read an article a few nights ago about Donald Sterling and just had to share some thoughts from it. Donald Sterling, if you fell off the planet in the past two weeks, is the embattled owner of the Los Angeles Clippers NBA basketball team. He made some shocking, deplorable remarks to his girlfriend that were recorded which included that she shouldn’t associate with black people and he wished that she wouldn’t “bring them to his games.” The remarks are appalling, indeed, and everyone, seemingly, has weighed in on this issue – from LeBron James and Michael Jordan to President Obama.

In his article, “Jesus Came for the embarrassments”, Nick Lannon writes:

“It seems to me, though, that there is at least one thing left to say, one thing that I’ve not heard amidst the talking heads, one thing that’s being drowned out by the outrage: I’m not all that different than Donald Sterling.

“To frame our discussion, let’s use a tweet from ESPN.com’s NBA analyst Kevin Pelton, who wrote this on Saturday:

“@kpelton: Important Sterling takeaway: If it’s so hard to get rid of an embarrassing owner, the vetting process better be airtight.

“What Pelton is referring to here is the vetting process done by the NBA and other owners before giving a prospective owner the opportunity to buy into their most exclusive of clubs. There have been many calls for the NBA to ‘force’ Sterling to sell the Clippers, but there doesn’t seem to be any kind of precedent—or legal recourse—to make that happen. Pelton suggests that if kicking an embarrassment out is impossible, the league should make extra sure that they don’t let embarrassments in in the first place.

“Here’s the pertinent fact for our discussion: We are all embarrassments!

“Too often, we think of Christianity as an NBA-like exclusive club from which we’d like to keep potential embarrassments. When someone on the inside has a public ‘fall from grace,’ we wonder aloud to each other if they were ever truly members in the first place. We keep our vetting process airtight, praying that our club avoid embarrassment.

“What if Jesus had sentiments similar to those Pelton expressed? In Part 13 of his Romans sermon series, Pastor Tullian Tchividjian asked this question. ‘If he’s going to be such an embarrassment,’ Jesus might say, ‘I’ve got to make sure my vetting process is airtight.’

“Pastor Tullian continued: ‘Jesus doesn’t vet. He comes to the embarrassments. He comes to you and to me.’ ”

Lannon goes on to add that if Jesus had a “vetting” process to get into the Kingdom, we’d all be in trouble. He says, “We need a God who, in Christ, does not vet. We need a God who knows us to be the needy, prideful, prejudiced, self-glorifying Donald Sterling people that we are, and who comes to us in our need. We need a God who doesn’t wait for us to clean up our act. Donald Sterling has proven himself an enemy of the NBA, and the NBA is going to do all it can to punish him for it. Jesus Christ, on the other hand, was sent on a mission specifically to rescue his enemies (Romans 5:10).

“It might be fair for Donald Sterling to lose his NBA team. That’s for lawyers to decide. We need a God who is better than fair; in fact, a fair god leads inexorably to our destruction. We need a God of mercy. And in Christ, the rescuer of enemies, we have one.”

(Note: Two days ago, Donald Sterling was banned for life from the NBA, fined a hefty amount, and ordered to sell his team. Stay tuned.)

Today Changes Everything

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Today is Good Friday. To me, this is the most meaningful day of the year. Although I really love the reborn exuberance of Easter Sunday and the peace of the Christmas season, this day is where everything changes for me.

This morning as I re-read the account of what happened on this day about 2000 years ago, I was struck at the sacrificial love of Jesus. I recalled the images of “The Passion of the Christ” as I read again about Gethsemane, Jesus’ arrest, and the Crucifixion. What could possibly drive a man to do that?!?

Simply said, LOVE. A new kind of love. A sacrificial love. A love that gave up all His rights and privileges. A love that laid down His life for the sake of others.

That is how we are called to love. That’s how we’re called to live.

Today is the day where the slate is wiped clean, where everything is forgiven, and a fresh start begins. Today is the day when you love those around you with the same, lay-it-all-down kind of love.

Just come home

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Every night this week, Sharon and I will be watching a 6-part video series entitled “The Easter Experience” by Kyle Idleman and City on a Hill Productions. So far, it’s shed some unique light on a familiar story.

For instance, did you ever equate Judas and Peter? Both were disciples. Both walked with Jesus for roughly three years. Both saw the miracles, the healings, and the crowds. They heard the parables and the teachings that turned the Jewish world on its ear. They both shared countless meals with Jesus, including the last supper.

And they both denied Jesus. Their sins were basically equivalent. They knew Jesus intimately. Jesus said they both were his friends. Yet, both betrayed their Lord. They both turned their back on Jesus. One ratted Him out. The other denied ever knowing Him. Which one was worse? What’s the difference between them?

Kyle Idleman teaches that the only real difference between Judas and Peter is how they handled their denial. One felt remorse. The other repentance. Judas, with remorse, ran from his God, turned inward, and landed in utter despair… so desperate that he hung himself.

Peter, on the other hand, initially must have felt the same way. He must’ve thought to himself, “What have I done?”, the same thought Judas certainly had. All four gospels recount his three denials, and Luke’s gospel says that the Lord actually looked at Peter after his third denial. What a crushing moment for Peter! The gospels say that Peter wept “bitterly.” That seems like an understatement to me.

But the moment that seemed to change everything for Peter was when he was back at his old job… fishing. After the Crucifixion, after all seemed lost for the rest of the disciples, after Jesus was seemingly dead and gone, Peter was in his boat casting his net and not having much luck catching anything. And some backseat fisherman yells out to him to cast the nets on the other side of the boat, and when he does, the nets can’t hold all the fish!

And the boat can’t hold Peter! Immediately, he realizes that it’s his resurrected Lord on the beach and he jumps out of the boat and swims — I imagine frantically — toward shore. There was no hesitation. There was no delay. There was only a desire to see his Lord.

There’s no punishment waiting. There’s no demotion or dressing-down or throwing Peter under the bus in front of the others. After coming back to Jesus, with regret and repentance in his heart, Peter is restored gently by Jesus.

Remorse versus Repentance. Turning inward versus turning to Jesus.

And as Kyle Idleman points out, Judas and Peter each had the same opportunity to do what God wants us all to do: to just… come home. Just. Come. Home.

Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. (2 Corinthians 7:10, The Message)

Hoping…

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My friend, Bruce Catlett passed away last Sunday, and in his last few months, he had grown especially close to a few friends. One of them texted me last night, and I asked him how he was handling the death of his close friend. He answered that he was doing fine… he was just longing to be where Bruce now is, in heaven with Jesus.

Ultimately, that is what gives him hope. That is what gave Bruce hope. That’s all Bruce could talk about, especially in his last days.

That is what gives me hope and is what gives you hope as well, I’m sure.

Hope is what sets us apart, as Jesus-followers. Hope is what gets us through terrible days. Hope is what gets someone like Bruce and Donna through the sickness which results from chemo treatments. Hope is what makes us victorious, both in the “here and now” and for eternity. And according to the apostle Paul, faith and love are birthed from hope. Hear the words of Paul:

We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. (Colossians1:3-5, NLT)

Faith and love come from hope. There it is. In this case, it was music to Paul’s ears. He had heard that the church he had planted in Colosse was making an impact. They were spreading the love of Jesus Christ, most certainly by just living their lives in front of the folks around them. They were different from the culture. They had hope. And news travels fast… especially good news. It made it all the way to Paul’s prison cell in Rome.

We have that very same hope. And our good news – the hope that we have in Christ Jesus and the work He has done for us – shows itself in faith and love. It shows itself in very much the same way as it’s done for centuries: by just living it authentically (not perfectly) in front of a watching world. It’s not easy and I am embarassed by my behavior in so many ways on so many occasions. But because of Jesus’ love for me (and you), I know that I live in the unshakeable Kingdom of God. I am a Kingdom-dweller. I am a follower of Jesus. My hope is borne out of my identity (which is permanent) and not my behavior (with is temporary). That is where my hope comes from.

And although I, too, would love to be with Bruce and Jesus, I know that as long as I’m still here, there’s still the Good News of hope to be spread.