In-Between…

I haven’t written in a couple of days. I think the reason is that, simply, I don’t have anything to say. I’m sort of “dry”. I’m struggling, not spiritually, but… spiritually. I’m not steeped in sin and estranged from God. Hardly. I love God with all my heart. And He loves me with all of His.

I’m struggling to see the direction He is leading me. I am struggling to see the direction He is leading US – my wife and I. We been going to the same church for 10 months (after being at another church for 15 years), and we haven’t made one new friend. Not one (Except the pastor, who is a wonderful man who has helped me personally a great deal). It seems as though everyone is busy living their own lives. I understand.

I owe this pastor a great deal. He has helped me immensely after leaving my previous church and dealing with all the baggage that went along with it. I will forever be in his debt. He has helped me journey into the welcoming, ever-open arms of God’s love. He has helped me see that the Kingdom of God is unshakeable. I owe him… big-time.

However, neither Sharon nor I feel connected to the church. We come in, sit down, worship, shake hands with those around us, listen to a great sermon (always), and leave. We even come back during the week and are a part of a small group. Yet, there’s no connection.

“We were made to wait, to long for things unseen. This is the place from which dreams and desires come.” — Jeff Goins, The In-Between

I think that’s where we are: in-between. But in this place of waiting… of being “in-between”, a place of trust, Mr. Goins says, I find it difficult to dream or to desire. Instead, I am tempted to despair. He says it’s a place of change and the change happens in you and me as we wait. That is true. I am not the man I was 10 months ago. My outlook is fundamentally different. I am a child of God, in whom Christ dwells, and I reside in the unshakeable Kingdom of God. 10 months ago, I couldn’t say that. My theology has changed, too.

I no longer am striving, trying to be “good” enough so that God will look at me, hear me, or show his love to me. I no longer believe that I have to do something to be accepted by God. After all, I didn’t do anything for God to accept me to begin with. I have changed.

So, here I am. I am longing. Dreaming. Desiring. Waiting… in-between.

4 thoughts on “In-Between…

  1. Thanks for being transparent. Transitions are one of the most trying time to be in. But God who is RICH in mercy will see you through. My wife and I have been where you are. We know God leads. You have gained much according to what you wrote. You and your wife will be rewarded I’m sure. Blessings

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good morning Tim. After reading your article, I can relate! My husband and I travel a lot for work, so I am unable to attend regularly! But when I am home, the Nazarene church on 608 is where I attend. I pray for my church family, but not once, have they called me and ask where I am, and how I’m doing. 2 weeks ago, I was preparing for church and decided when I left, I was going to attend a different church that day. When I got in my car, I ask God for direction. Where should I attend this morning. Several churches came to mind, but God kept telling me…..Go to your regular church. I did and Gods presence was there! It was a wonderful service. On my way back home, I realized God has a plan for me there, even though, i don’t feel connected to anyone. But I feel a strong connection to God when I attend my church. He told me that is the most important thing . I don’t know what the plan is for me to be there, but God knows!!!! I so enjoy your articles….. And you are touching a lot of people. You are making a difference Tim !!!! Thank you so much for sharing…..you ARE truly a blessing !!!

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s