Death

Hanging on every word…

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When I (stupidly) mention to my dog, Bella, that we’re going for a ride, or use the word “go” or “going”, she hangs on every word I say thereafter. She looks expectantly, waiting on the next word I might say that she recognizes. She’s doing it right now, waiting for us to go.image

Our black lab, Sam, was a little different. He would perk up for things he heard that he recognized, but he lived to obey. Retrievers are wired that way. They love to obey their master, and they, too, hang on every word you say.

I wish I would live to obey my Master, Teacher, Father, and Friend! He is working everything out for my own good, whether it feels good or not. He can be trusted with every detail of my life. I just wish I could lie at His feet, hang on every Word, and look as expectantly to Jesus as Bella looks at me. She is obsessed.

I want to be obsessed with Jesus and following Him!

Divine Coincidence?

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As many of you know, I’ve been reading a series of books by James Bryan Smith. First, The Good and Beautiful God; next, The Good and Beautiful Life; lastly, The Good and Beautiful Community. Everyone at Church on the Hill has been reading these books, as Pastor Brandon has been preaching from them in a nine-month series entitled “The Disciple’s Pathway”. All the small groups are working through them in unison as well. The series has had a tremendous impact on my life and I heartily recommend them.

I’ve enjoyed them so much that I’ve searched out more books by the same author and I’ve found two more: Embracing the Love of God, and a piece of fiction, Room of Marvels. I’m reading these two books a little bit each day.

James Bryan Smith is a chaplain and theology professor at Friends University in Kansas. He was a close personal friend of singer/songwriter Rich Mullins, who died in an auto accident in 1997. In fact, when Rich was at Friends University, he spent two years living in a makeshift apartment in Smith’s attic. The two became very close friends.

The book, Room of Marvels, chronicles a period of time in the life of a man who is a spiritual leader in his church and his community, but who has reached burnout and despair after the death of his toddler-aged daughter, his mother, and his best friend in an auto accident — all in a span of a couple of months. After reading a short while, it seems to be more of an auto-biographical piece of fiction than anything else, recounting Smith’s own struggles in life, and with death and tragedy.

This past week, God has brought a tremendous intersection of… well, I don’t even know what to call it. I’ve been training a gentleman named Tom, who answered a Craigslist Help-Wanted ad to do some property evaluations. We’ve spent several hours together this past week, and one thing led to another, and I asked him about his background – where he went to school and so forth.

He answered, “I went to Friends University.”
“Huh?!? What? Really?” I replied.
“Yep.”
“Did you know… do you know… of an author, a teacher/professor named James Bryan Smith?”
“Well, there was a chaplain by the name of Jim Smith.”
“Oh my goodness.”
“And he was best friends with Rich Mullins when he died in that car wreck.”
“Yes! Yes!”
“Yeah, I knew Rich, too. That was so tragic. In fact, I played with Rich in the last concert he played at Friends.”
“Wow,” was about all I could mutter, trying to figure out what God was trying to do here.

I explained to him all I’ve been reading, and he didn’t realize “Jim” Smith was such a respected and prolific author. We finished our work together that day and I mentioned that I didn’t want to miss what God was trying to do or trying to teach me with this divine “coincidence”. Tom then said, “It probably is more for me than for you.” Not knowing what to say, I just let that hang there in the air, and we continued to finish up the work for the day.

The next day, in the midst of our work, I mentioned that we should have coffee together, and he eagerly agreed. We meet a little later today.

I’ve been in prayer ever since we agreed to meet, using the prayer my friend Donna taught me this week: “I want your will, God. Nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else.” I don’t know what to expect or where this might lead but I’m going in with my eyes and ears wide open.

Stay tuned.

In-Between…

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I haven’t written in a couple of days. I think the reason is that, simply, I don’t have anything to say. I’m sort of “dry”. I’m struggling, not spiritually, but… spiritually. I’m not steeped in sin and estranged from God. Hardly. I love God with all my heart. And He loves me with all of His.

I’m struggling to see the direction He is leading me. I am struggling to see the direction He is leading US – my wife and I. We been going to the same church for 10 months (after being at another church for 15 years), and we haven’t made one new friend. Not one (Except the pastor, who is a wonderful man who has helped me personally a great deal). It seems as though everyone is busy living their own lives. I understand.

I owe this pastor a great deal. He has helped me immensely after leaving my previous church and dealing with all the baggage that went along with it. I will forever be in his debt. He has helped me journey into the welcoming, ever-open arms of God’s love. He has helped me see that the Kingdom of God is unshakeable. I owe him… big-time.

However, neither Sharon nor I feel connected to the church. We come in, sit down, worship, shake hands with those around us, listen to a great sermon (always), and leave. We even come back during the week and are a part of a small group. Yet, there’s no connection.

“We were made to wait, to long for things unseen. This is the place from which dreams and desires come.” — Jeff Goins, The In-Between

I think that’s where we are: in-between. But in this place of waiting… of being “in-between”, a place of trust, Mr. Goins says, I find it difficult to dream or to desire. Instead, I am tempted to despair. He says it’s a place of change and the change happens in you and me as we wait. That is true. I am not the man I was 10 months ago. My outlook is fundamentally different. I am a child of God, in whom Christ dwells, and I reside in the unshakeable Kingdom of God. 10 months ago, I couldn’t say that. My theology has changed, too.

I no longer am striving, trying to be “good” enough so that God will look at me, hear me, or show his love to me. I no longer believe that I have to do something to be accepted by God. After all, I didn’t do anything for God to accept me to begin with. I have changed.

So, here I am. I am longing. Dreaming. Desiring. Waiting… in-between.

Humbling…

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I’m reading another eye-opening and heart-rending book. This time, it’s Embracing the Love of God by James Bryan Smith. Here’s a paragraph that hits home:

“I see now how foolish it was to think that my feeble attempts at righteousness had anything to do with how God feels about me. For too long, I was impressed with ‘my commitment’ to Christ; now I am only impressed with His commitment to me. My previous focus has been on ‘my decision’ for Jesus; now I am concentrating on His decision for me.”

Let that simmer and stew for awhile. It’ll rock your world. It does mine.

His commitment.
His decision.

Consider…

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I just have to share what I just read:

“Out of love Jesus was conceived and out of love he chose to die. There is something in us that God finds lovable. It is certainly not our sanctity, nor is it our fidelity. When I look at my own baseness, my incredible ability to sin at a moment’s notice, I wonder what God sees in me.

“Just recently I experienced a wonderful hour of prayer. I felt all warm inside, centered on God’s love, and ready to share that love with everyone I met. While driving to work, someone cut me off on the freeway, and immediately I began screaming at him. Where did this anger come from? It was in me all along. It is a good thing that God does not wait for us to be perfect in order to accept us.

“‘But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). God’s love for us is amazing in that he loves us without much of a reason. If we doubt it, all we have to do is consider the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Christ. For centuries that has been the clearest sign of God’s radical acceptance. Too often we reduce the cross to a mere decoration when in fact it is the most glorious demonstration of love that has ever been.”

— Embracing the Love of God, James Bryan Smith

Laws of Nature

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Did you see that sunset last night? It was so beautiful that when I was driving from Waynesboro heading west, I was distracted by it, and nearly ran off the road in my neighborhood. This morning’s sunrise was the same way. I found myself wanting to watch it rather than do any reading (or imagewriting, for that matter).

G. K. Chesterton writes that creation is God’s gift to us. We all delight in different things. I love geese and enjoy the sound of them calling out to each other as they fly overhead in formation. I enjoy the smell of fresh-cut grass and the smell of the woods in autumn. I love to feel sand between my toes and hear the sound of crashing waves at the beach. I even like the silence after a fresh snowfall. I’d bet that you love some of those things, too. They are gifts from God to us.

Chesterton writes that although the sun probably will rise tomorrow, it doesn’t have to. Perhaps God says, “Arise! Go forth!” each day. He goes on to say that grass didn’t have to be green. God could have made it purple if he wished. There are no real “laws” of nature, without God putting everything in motion and holding it all together as Colossians 1:16-17 says. God can do whatever he wants. He makes frogs jump and birds fly and water runs downhill not because of laws, Chesterton writes, but because God wishes them to do so. He says, “It is not a necessity, though we can count on it practically, we have no right to says that it always must happen.”

As you walk outside today, wherever you are, take notice of the fabulous gift God has given you today. Smile and give thanks.

“While we were…”

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But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

I am constantly amazed at that verse. “While I was a sinner…” And I think back to my days B.C…. before Christ. I think of all the things I did in living to please myself. I was so selfish. I was despicable. I hurt many people in many ways. I did terrible things.

And yet Christ died for me… while I was a sinner. Yes, I know it was thousands of years before I was born, but since time is eternal to God and He can see the eternal past and the eternal future, he could see me getting drunk, forgetting where I parked my car, passing out with my clothes on, and yet He died for me! Amazing!

And because of time-eternal, He can see me now, still a sinner (although now not a slave to sin) desperate for His grace to even take another step. He sees me struggling and failing, time after time, in word, in thought, or in deed. “While I was a sinner…”, God demonstrated his love, Scripture says. He loved me first. And He still loves me first.

James Bryan Smith says in his book, Embracing the Love of God:

“God does not love. God IS love. (1 John 4:16) I am capable of loving but I am also capable of not loving. That cannot be said about God. God cannot stop loving, because love is God’s nature.”

If I blow it again… if I fail for the 23rd time (or the 93rd time) at the same thing… God does not stop loving me. In fact, God loved me first and continues to love me first (1 John 4:19). He loves me. He accepts me. He smiles when he looks at me (Numbers 6:26) and thinks about me. I am the apple of his eye. (Psalm 17:8) And as I’ve said so many times before, he takes great delight in me and even sings over me (Zephaniah 3:17).

But (obviously) it’s not just me. “While WE were still sinners…” the verse says, “God demonstrated his own love for us.”

It’s a promise for all of us.

The Power of Love

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Ephesians 3:18 NLT says:
“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.”

This is a prayer of Paul’s… that his readers would know and understand about God’s love. He knew that if we really – and I mean REALLY – understood the love and acceptance of God, we would be changed… we would be transformed… we would be made whole and complete.

For he goes on to say:

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (v.19)

“Fullness of life.” “Power.”

The fullness of life Paul speaks of and the abundant life John talks about (John 10:10) are one in the same. Being loved by God makes us lovable. That understanding in itself is liberating for some who feel unloved. It is what the human heart was made for: to be loved and to love. Once we really understand that we are loved and embraced by God despite our flaws, shortcomings, sins, and failings, it enables us to love and serve others with the same kind of love. That is abundant life.

The power we then experience, knowing that we are loved, accepted, embraced, and even rejoiced over, is the power to live with abandon for God and God alone. We are able to then completely trust Him without needing to know the reason why certain things happen. We just trust. And it is the power to live above sin and temptation. In short, it is power to live victoriously.

May we all have the power to understand and experience God’s love today.

It is Good News. Go to church today. Chances are, you’ll hear more about it.

Eighteen inches…

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My former pastor used to (and probably still does) sign his correspondence — his letters, cards, emails — “You are loved, Pastor Jeff”. I always thought that was his way of saying “I love you.” But he might also have been trying to convey a profound truth that is the one thing that has the power to transform. It is the one thing all humans long for. To know…

You are loved.

Love is the one thing that can change everything. Love never fails, as Scripture says. (1 Cor 13:8) It is one thing to love something or someone, but quite another to know you are loved. To be loved is what makes life complete, and yet even if we are blessed with a relationship that conveys human love to us, there is still an emptiness… an incompleteness that only God can fill.

The most famous verse in the Bible is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, that whoever should believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That verse tells us that God loves us. A lot. We get that. But do we really?

Until the knowledge of God’s love and acceptance of us travels the 18 inches from our heads down to our hearts, we remain the same. We may know Bible verses. We may know theology. We may be slightly smarter, but we don’t really know God’s love. Otherwise we would be changed. We wouldn’t yearn for more. We could be content in any circumstance (Phil 4:11). And most of all, we would love others differently. We wouldn’t be as hard or cold to those who are so different from us. We would be changed and it would be obvious.

In 1992, the former president of the American Psychiatric Association noted, “We’ve had a hundred years of psychotherapy — and the world’s getting worse.” There is an emptiness that lingers despite therapy, counselling, medication, exercise, alcohol and drugs, plastic surgery, support groups, psychic readings, and yes, Sunday school classes and sermons. The emptiness… the yearning for more… still persists for most people.

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” It’s more than a sleepy little Burt Bacharach song from the 1960s. It’s truth. And we need more than the love that we can provide one another. We need God’s love and we need it to penetrate our hearts.

The truth is that you and I are loved more than we can comprehend. It’s an unexplainable love because it’s other-worldly. It’s patient, kind, wanting-nothing-but-the-best-for-you, steadfast, never-wavering, passionate, deep love. When we receive it — fully receive it — it is fulfilling, healing, and transforming. It’s brings a completeness and wholeness that we’ve never known before and that we’ve been searching for our entire lives.

But even more than being loved, we are accepted. We are accepted as we are right now. We are accepted despite what we’ve done. We are accepted, and embraced, and God even sings over us. He smiles when he thinks of you. Is that hard for you to believe? It is for most of us. That’s why God’s love never moves that 18″ I mentioned, from our head to our heart. We somehow can’t accept it.

But believe it… because it is the truth. Just listen to the words of the prophet:

“The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”
(Zephaniah 3:17, NIV)

Loving someone or something is easy. Knowing that you are loved is difficult. But it is the truth.

You are loved.

Conversations with God…

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This morning I didn’t know what to read or where to start, so I prayed, “Lord, what’s on your mind today? What’s on your heart today? I want your thoughts to be my thoughts. Show me what you want this morning.”

I then prayed for my friends Donna and Amanda, brave women enduring a lot and glorifying God while doing it. I then opened a devotional book and the day’s devo talked about unity with God and His will, not becoming double-minded with hidden motives or agendas.

Then I looked at a pamphlet that one of my favorite authors wrote, entitled, “Reading With Your Ears – How to Hear the Voice of God in the Bible.” It’s basically a study guide teaching how to read the Bible conversationally. He begins by saying,

“Have you ever stopped to think how amazing it is that God wants to talk to you? The creator of the universe, God Almighty himself, wants to talk to you! He loves you. He is concerned about every aspect of your life. He has something to say to you every day. And he wants to hear from you every day, too. As followers of Christ, we can all have conversations with God. We just need to learn how to listen.”

He goes on to talk about how to read the Bible conversationally, and encourages to read “for depth, not distance.” Find a passage, either by using a devotional, the material from Sunday’s sermon, or one you’re fond of, and read it. It shouldn’t be overly lengthy, nor – if you’re just starting out – difficult passages. (Difficult to understand, difficult to pronounce, difficult to read)

Read it once all the way through. Then read it again, stopping at anything that catches your attention. Read it emphasizing certain words, then read it again, emphasizing different words. Reading it aloud helps here.

Then let it seep in. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” (Colossians 3:16) Be a hot cup of water and let the Word be a tea bag. Let it steep and allows its color, flavor and aroma to saturate you. Ponder the meaning of words. Let the Holy Spirit guide your thoughts. Let your mind wander but be mindful of what you’re thinking about. If thoughts about today’s work or activities pop up, have a pad of paper handy to write those thoughts down and then come back to the Word.

I did that this morning, and went back to the calling of Matthew, the tax collector, in Matthew 9. I wrote about his encounter with Jesus yesterday, but just felt the passage might hold more for me. As I read the end of the scene, Jesus says in verse 13,

“But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

In my Bible, there’s a footnote after the sentence, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” and it refers me to another verse, Hosea 6:6 in the Old Testament. Jesus just said, “Go and learn what this means,” so I turned to the passage.

Hosea is a prophetic book that talks about the “adulterous” people of Israel, who walked away from the God of their forefathers, pursued other gods, or were just going through the week-after-week motions of their religious lives. They may have gone through their daily or weekly rituals, going to the synagogue, singing their songs, praying their prayers, and making their sacrifices, but their hearts weren’t in it. Sound familiar?

And then God speaks through the prophet and says:

O Israel and Judah, what should I do with you? asks the Lord.
For your love vanishes like the morning mist and disappears like dew in the sunlight.
I sent my prophets to cut you to pieces – to slaughter you with my words,
with judgments as inescapable as light.
I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings.
(Hosea 6:4-6, NLT)

The Message paraphrases verse 6:

I’m after love that lasts, not more religion.
I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings.

Today’s message to me: God wants me to know Him more. He wants to talk to me. He wants me to know His thoughts and His heart.

He wants to have a conversation. I need to (re)learn how to listen.