Listening

I’m having trouble writing recently. I don’t think it’s so-called “writer’s block” because I have all sorts of thoughts rolling around in my head (contrary to what my friends and family think). I’m just trying to “listen” more in this short season in my life.

I gave my notice at work about 30 days ago and my last day is June 30th. I had planned some summer travelling, first with my wife Sharon and then motorcycling out west. It’s roughly a six-week hiatus.

For the past couple of weeks and for the upcoming six-week period, I plan on talking less and listening more. Writing is the equivalent of talking, so I plan to write a bit less in the hopes that my ears will be open to God’s leading.

I recently wrote an inscription in a gift book my wife and I gave our high school graduate granddaughter which included something like this:

“Your entire life is seemingly before you and you’ll be facing many decisions and ‘forks in the road’. You’ll wonder which way to go. How will you know what decision to make? How will you make the right decision? It’s simple, really.

“Follow the instruction found in God’s Word:

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your paths.’
(Proverbs 3:5-6)”

I pray she follows those simple verses all of her days. I pray I follow those words for the next six weeks or so (and all of my days).

So… less talking, more listening.

Hanging on every word…

When I (stupidly) mention to my dog, Bella, that we’re going for a ride, or use the word “go” or “going”, she hangs on every word I say thereafter. She looks expectantly, waiting on the next word I might say that she recognizes. She’s doing it right now, waiting for us to go.image

Our black lab, Sam, was a little different. He would perk up for things he heard that he recognized, but he lived to obey. Retrievers are wired that way. They love to obey their master, and they, too, hang on every word you say.

I wish I would live to obey my Master, Teacher, Father, and Friend! He is working everything out for my own good, whether it feels good or not. He can be trusted with every detail of my life. I just wish I could lie at His feet, hang on every Word, and look as expectantly to Jesus as Bella looks at me. She is obsessed.

I want to be obsessed with Jesus and following Him!

All that really matters…

“What really matters is what God says about us. What would it matter if a thousand people bowed before us and praised our name if God condemned us? What would it matter if ten thousand people reviled and cursed us if God accepted us and loved us? We have already been accepted by the one whose acceptance is all that really matters.”
— James Bryan Smith, Embracing the Love of God

I find myself dependent on the approval and acceptance of others, from my friends and co-workers to my wonderful wife, Sharon. I may say outwardly that I don’t care what others think, but my thoughts and actions say otherwise. Approval addiction is what some would call it. I’m not sure where this comes from… early childhood probably.

But what James Bryan Smith is getting at in this passage and in this book is that knowing — really knowing — that God loves you and me and accepts you and me, JUST AS WE ARE (before we shape up, improve, get our act together, kick our bad habits, or clean up)… this love and acceptance can (and should) profoundly transform us. When it really gets deep down inside us that you and I are truly God’s “beloved” as His Word says over and over, we are changed. This is all that matters.

We then can accept ourselves as we are. We no longer are perfectionists, aggravated and disturbed by our weaknesses and flaws, our shortcomings and warts, and our repeated failures. We are loved and accepted. That’s all that really matters. We all want to be loved and accepted by others, but we are no longer ruled by it. Whatever we lack from others, God gladly, freely, and overwhelmingly makes up for. His love is all that really matters.

Knowing that God loves and accepts us, as we are right now, allows us to love and accept others, with all their flaws and failures. We don’t have to accept their behavior, but God’s love for us allows us to accept and love others as they are right now. We are able to give grace to others because we have received it so abundantly.

Lastly, God’s nearly unbelievable acceptance produces in me and in you an unexplainable desire for holiness. It is not a matter of being more pious, but a desire for more of God. The former leads to self-righteousness; the latter to His righteousness. This wonderful love, acceptance, and grace does not lead to loose living as a license to sin, but it is a springboard to the life of love and freedom that God desires for each one of us.

It is abundant life. It is eternal living.

His love and acceptance… all that really matters.

Divine Coincidence?

As many of you know, I’ve been reading a series of books by James Bryan Smith. First, The Good and Beautiful God; next, The Good and Beautiful Life; lastly, The Good and Beautiful Community. Everyone at Church on the Hill has been reading these books, as Pastor Brandon has been preaching from them in a nine-month series entitled “The Disciple’s Pathway”. All the small groups are working through them in unison as well. The series has had a tremendous impact on my life and I heartily recommend them.

I’ve enjoyed them so much that I’ve searched out more books by the same author and I’ve found two more: Embracing the Love of God, and a piece of fiction, Room of Marvels. I’m reading these two books a little bit each day.

James Bryan Smith is a chaplain and theology professor at Friends University in Kansas. He was a close personal friend of singer/songwriter Rich Mullins, who died in an auto accident in 1997. In fact, when Rich was at Friends University, he spent two years living in a makeshift apartment in Smith’s attic. The two became very close friends.

The book, Room of Marvels, chronicles a period of time in the life of a man who is a spiritual leader in his church and his community, but who has reached burnout and despair after the death of his toddler-aged daughter, his mother, and his best friend in an auto accident — all in a span of a couple of months. After reading a short while, it seems to be more of an auto-biographical piece of fiction than anything else, recounting Smith’s own struggles in life, and with death and tragedy.

This past week, God has brought a tremendous intersection of… well, I don’t even know what to call it. I’ve been training a gentleman named Tom, who answered a Craigslist Help-Wanted ad to do some property evaluations. We’ve spent several hours together this past week, and one thing led to another, and I asked him about his background – where he went to school and so forth.

He answered, “I went to Friends University.”
“Huh?!? What? Really?” I replied.
“Yep.”
“Did you know… do you know… of an author, a teacher/professor named James Bryan Smith?”
“Well, there was a chaplain by the name of Jim Smith.”
“Oh my goodness.”
“And he was best friends with Rich Mullins when he died in that car wreck.”
“Yes! Yes!”
“Yeah, I knew Rich, too. That was so tragic. In fact, I played with Rich in the last concert he played at Friends.”
“Wow,” was about all I could mutter, trying to figure out what God was trying to do here.

I explained to him all I’ve been reading, and he didn’t realize “Jim” Smith was such a respected and prolific author. We finished our work together that day and I mentioned that I didn’t want to miss what God was trying to do or trying to teach me with this divine “coincidence”. Tom then said, “It probably is more for me than for you.” Not knowing what to say, I just let that hang there in the air, and we continued to finish up the work for the day.

The next day, in the midst of our work, I mentioned that we should have coffee together, and he eagerly agreed. We meet a little later today.

I’ve been in prayer ever since we agreed to meet, using the prayer my friend Donna taught me this week: “I want your will, God. Nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else.” I don’t know what to expect or where this might lead but I’m going in with my eyes and ears wide open.

Stay tuned.

Fight Like a Man

I have a men’s devotional booklet at work that my friend and riding buddy, Paul, gave me. I’ve used it a few times when I’ve a free minute or two, which is rare these days. I was looking at its cover, and, as you can see, it has a boxer on the cover with the words, “Come Out Fighting.”

Those words appeal to men. We want to fight. We want to fight for what’s right. We want to fight for our honor. We want to fight for our families. Our heroes (which aren’t only men) want to fight for our country, for our freedom, for our way of life. We want to fight.

But I think that title may give the wrong impression. I think that for 95% of the “Christian Soldiers”, fighting means praying harder, trying harder, having more faith, or serving in as many ways as possible. While prayer and service are wonderful things, showing us the heart of God, many times we do them in our own strength. We engage in spiritual warfare with naivety, praying louder and louder, thinking that we can shout down our enemy, Satan. We serve others at a frantic pace, hoping that by doing more, we become more acceptable to God.

I say, “WE”, because I include myself. I’ve been guilty of this most of my Christian life. But I’m discovering that, first and foremost, I’m acceptable by God just as I am right now. I don’t need to do anything else. In fact, as I’ve said before, there’s nothing I can do to make me more acceptable or less acceptable to God. He loves me and accepts me RIGHT NOW, with all my flaws, with all my mistakes, and with all my weaknesses. (Romans 8:38-39)

In fact, that’s where the Jesus-follower fights from: a position of weakness. It is from a posture of weakness that God can truly show His strength. It is through weakness that His power is made perfect (2Corinthians 12:9-10). We can come humbly and boldly to the throne of grace and find mercy and grace in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16). And in doing so, we can have a confidence that in our weakness, we can “fight the good fight” that the apostle Paul talks about (1Timothy 6:12, 2Timothy 4:7)

It’s counter-intuitive, but as Jesus-followers, that is where the fight is won: a position of weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:10 NIV:
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else

Last night, my wife Sharon and I had the opportunity to have dinner with old friends… folks we hadn’t really sat down with and talked to for over a year. It was so good to just catch up. It was great to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly in their lives, and talk with them like we’ve never been apart. It was so good to laugh so hard until you cried and your side hurt. It was great to smile so much that your face hurt. Laughter really is good medicine!

Many were facing tough decisions or heading towards a crossroads in their life. Possibly the most profound thing said last night was from Donna, who’s been successfully battling cancer. She said that she learned this little prayer from a friend of hers: “Dear Lord, I want your will; nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else.” She continued by saying that it was a difficult prayer to pray. “It’s just hard,” she said.

You’re right, Donna. But it may be the best prayer I’ve heard (or said) all year.

In-Between…

I haven’t written in a couple of days. I think the reason is that, simply, I don’t have anything to say. I’m sort of “dry”. I’m struggling, not spiritually, but… spiritually. I’m not steeped in sin and estranged from God. Hardly. I love God with all my heart. And He loves me with all of His.

I’m struggling to see the direction He is leading me. I am struggling to see the direction He is leading US – my wife and I. We been going to the same church for 10 months (after being at another church for 15 years), and we haven’t made one new friend. Not one (Except the pastor, who is a wonderful man who has helped me personally a great deal). It seems as though everyone is busy living their own lives. I understand.

I owe this pastor a great deal. He has helped me immensely after leaving my previous church and dealing with all the baggage that went along with it. I will forever be in his debt. He has helped me journey into the welcoming, ever-open arms of God’s love. He has helped me see that the Kingdom of God is unshakeable. I owe him… big-time.

However, neither Sharon nor I feel connected to the church. We come in, sit down, worship, shake hands with those around us, listen to a great sermon (always), and leave. We even come back during the week and are a part of a small group. Yet, there’s no connection.

“We were made to wait, to long for things unseen. This is the place from which dreams and desires come.” — Jeff Goins, The In-Between

I think that’s where we are: in-between. But in this place of waiting… of being “in-between”, a place of trust, Mr. Goins says, I find it difficult to dream or to desire. Instead, I am tempted to despair. He says it’s a place of change and the change happens in you and me as we wait. That is true. I am not the man I was 10 months ago. My outlook is fundamentally different. I am a child of God, in whom Christ dwells, and I reside in the unshakeable Kingdom of God. 10 months ago, I couldn’t say that. My theology has changed, too.

I no longer am striving, trying to be “good” enough so that God will look at me, hear me, or show his love to me. I no longer believe that I have to do something to be accepted by God. After all, I didn’t do anything for God to accept me to begin with. I have changed.

So, here I am. I am longing. Dreaming. Desiring. Waiting… in-between.

The deepest chasm…

“Religion is the human search for God; Christianity is God’s search for humans.” — James Bryan Smith

Have you ever seen the ceiling of The Sistine Chapel? I haven’t either – personally – but I’ve seen pictures. One of the amazing paintings by Michelangelo is The Creation of Adam, depicting Adam reclining and reaching toward God. God, surrounded by angels, in turn is reaching down from heaven toward Adam. They reach and reach, seemingly straining toward each other and are only separated by what seems like an inch.image

Except that inch would later become a chasm of endless width, breadth, and depth. It is filled with my deepest, darkest thoughts. It is filled with my most wicked acts and deeds. It is filled with secrets. It is filled with sin. My sin. Your sin. Our sin.

In His great love for us, God gave us the gift of eternal living through the death and life of His Son, Jesus Christ. He came to us. He wanted us. He made a way. We owe it all to Him. We didn’t go looking for Him. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We were stuck drowning in our own chasm of darkness. It’s all His doing. We have tried reaching for Him for millenia. In one instant, He reached out for us and bridged the widest canyon in human history.

And He still is reaching for us today.

That’s why it’s called the Good News.

(Thanks to my friend Nancy Jo for posting in Facebook the short sentence at the top of this post. It’s from the book we’re all reading at church written by James Bryan Smith. Actually, over 250 people are reading from the same chapter of the same books each week for the past nine months, and that is a powerful thing. Lives have been changed… mine included. I highly recommend them. You can find them HERE.)

Conversations with God…

This morning I didn’t know what to read or where to start, so I prayed, “Lord, what’s on your mind today? What’s on your heart today? I want your thoughts to be my thoughts. Show me what you want this morning.”

I then prayed for my friends Donna and Amanda, brave women enduring a lot and glorifying God while doing it. I then opened a devotional book and the day’s devo talked about unity with God and His will, not becoming double-minded with hidden motives or agendas.

Then I looked at a pamphlet that one of my favorite authors wrote, entitled, “Reading With Your Ears – How to Hear the Voice of God in the Bible.” It’s basically a study guide teaching how to read the Bible conversationally. He begins by saying,

“Have you ever stopped to think how amazing it is that God wants to talk to you? The creator of the universe, God Almighty himself, wants to talk to you! He loves you. He is concerned about every aspect of your life. He has something to say to you every day. And he wants to hear from you every day, too. As followers of Christ, we can all have conversations with God. We just need to learn how to listen.”

He goes on to talk about how to read the Bible conversationally, and encourages to read “for depth, not distance.” Find a passage, either by using a devotional, the material from Sunday’s sermon, or one you’re fond of, and read it. It shouldn’t be overly lengthy, nor – if you’re just starting out – difficult passages. (Difficult to understand, difficult to pronounce, difficult to read)

Read it once all the way through. Then read it again, stopping at anything that catches your attention. Read it emphasizing certain words, then read it again, emphasizing different words. Reading it aloud helps here.

Then let it seep in. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” (Colossians 3:16) Be a hot cup of water and let the Word be a tea bag. Let it steep and allows its color, flavor and aroma to saturate you. Ponder the meaning of words. Let the Holy Spirit guide your thoughts. Let your mind wander but be mindful of what you’re thinking about. If thoughts about today’s work or activities pop up, have a pad of paper handy to write those thoughts down and then come back to the Word.

I did that this morning, and went back to the calling of Matthew, the tax collector, in Matthew 9. I wrote about his encounter with Jesus yesterday, but just felt the passage might hold more for me. As I read the end of the scene, Jesus says in verse 13,

“But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

In my Bible, there’s a footnote after the sentence, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” and it refers me to another verse, Hosea 6:6 in the Old Testament. Jesus just said, “Go and learn what this means,” so I turned to the passage.

Hosea is a prophetic book that talks about the “adulterous” people of Israel, who walked away from the God of their forefathers, pursued other gods, or were just going through the week-after-week motions of their religious lives. They may have gone through their daily or weekly rituals, going to the synagogue, singing their songs, praying their prayers, and making their sacrifices, but their hearts weren’t in it. Sound familiar?

And then God speaks through the prophet and says:

O Israel and Judah, what should I do with you? asks the Lord.
For your love vanishes like the morning mist and disappears like dew in the sunlight.
I sent my prophets to cut you to pieces – to slaughter you with my words,
with judgments as inescapable as light.
I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings.
(Hosea 6:4-6, NLT)

The Message paraphrases verse 6:

I’m after love that lasts, not more religion.
I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings.

Today’s message to me: God wants me to know Him more. He wants to talk to me. He wants me to know His thoughts and His heart.

He wants to have a conversation. I need to (re)learn how to listen.

Life before death?

Eternal Life.

Think about those two words for a minute. How would you define them?

Kingdom of God.

Again, what do you those three words mean to you?

Many Christians would say that eternal life is what happens after they die. A life in heaven. And they would be right.

Many Christians would say that the Kingdom of God is where they will reside after they die. And they would be correct.

But there is so much more to eternal life in the Kingdom of God! The moment we come to trust God with our lives, placing our trust in the shed blood of Jesus, who took our sins upon Himself in the most blessed exchange ever to cleanse us and give us His righteousness, we are given the gift of eternal life. But this isn’t just life after death. He doesn’t just save us and then meet us again after we die. There is so much more!

Jesus Himself said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” (Luke 4:18-19, NLT)

Does that sound like He came to just give us a ticket to heaven? No, He came to give us eternal life NOW. It should be called “eternal living” because we are given God’s Spirit, the Holy Spirit, who lives inside us leading us, guiding us, teaching us, and even chastising us as we live out this life of freedom. We are free from trying to do everything right, because Jesus did everything right. We are free to fail, because Jesus succeeded. We are free to lose, because He won. We are free to be weak, because He is strong. We are free from having to perform, because all the work has been finished. This is true freedom.

Living in the Kingdom of God is not something that just happens after we pass away. Kingdom living happens (or can happen) every moment of every day. It is not a state of mind but a state of being. It is both a conscious decision and a surrendered condition. It is a place of trusting in the sovereign King of the universe, knowing that He is aware of all that is happening, and that He is using it all to grow us and shape us to be more and more like Jesus. It is a condition of living that brings true freedom and joy. Because we reside in this Kingdom, we are able to trust God for all our needs. Therefore, it is a place where the focus is no longer on ourselves but on God and others. This is abundant life (John 10:10). This is living in the Kingdom of God.

And this is tremendous news to a watching world which is looking for hope and searching for the one and only strategy for successful living. This is it! If you are a Jesus-follower, you have found it! We only need to start living like it.

Shane Claiborne said,

“Few people are interested in a religion that has nothing to say to the world and offers them only life after death, when what people are really wondering is whether there is life before death.”

Eternal living. Kingdom living… Good News indeed!